Tonight my husband cooked us dinner. Now in most households, this might not be such a big news item. Men who cook- what’s new? Well with my husband he has cooked for us maybe 4 times in the last 6 ½ years I’ve known him. And 2 of those have been in the last couple of weeks. Plus when your husband cooks for you and helps relieve some of the strain of the household duties it is such a wonderful feeling! So of course I had to celebrate that with a blog post.
You see, in his past relationships my husband’s partners have criticised his attempts at cooking and ridiculed him for any efforts made as not good enough. He even had dishes thrown at him as they were not good enough in her eyes.
For someone with chronic depression, this was not great. My husband was made to think through this constant negative reinforcement that he was unable to cook. So he believed it was true for many years. And would not even want to think about trying to cook something, even basic things. The most cooked item he probably had done for years was putting bread into the toaster.
When your husband cooks for you – Joining the ‘Men who cook’ club again.
With a lot of sessions talking with his psychologist about it and a lot of encouragement from me, he finally decided to try again. Mostly to start helping me out as a partner should, but also to prove to himself that he could do it. when your husband cooks for you
You may know a lot of men who cook regularly and happily do so. But it has been very trying to live with someone whose answer to being called upon to arrange a meal because I simply can’t do it due to fatigue from my MS is to say “Let’s get take out”. This might be okay every so often, but I don’t know a single family whose finances could stretch to do that all the time! And sometimes I may be out of action for several days in a row. So it simply wasn’t a good option.
Even the favourite Aussie male past time of barbecuing hasn’t enticed him to cook more than one meal before. (Crazy I know!) So tonight I celebrated that he has now created a dish in the Thermomix (with some back up from me on what things meant in the recipe) and his all-time favourite dish of spaghetti bolognese.
He may still call me to ask how some things are done (okay probably a lot of times). But he is slowly building back up that confidence to know he belongs to that group of men who cook once more. And I love that he is doing that! Maybe I will add a few cookbooks on to his Christmas wish list.
Come see more posts about life with my husband here.
And let me know in the comments how you feel when your husband cooks for you! How often does your husband or partner cook for you? when your husband cooks for you