motherhood

The unconventional guide to toilet training tips

02/03/2019 By Savanna Robinson Leave a Comment

We are just now into our third week of our youngest being toilet trained. Well, two weeks of no accidents during the day surely counts, right. Toilet training your toddler can be a huge and tiring job. It is not always the easiest task to achieve in your parenting life if you are doing most of the work for it. So I thought I’d pass along some of the toilet training tips we’ve tried- and what worked and what didn’t.

I swear it was super easy with my first, as she basically got the training part done at her 3 days a week daycare. And it just clicked with her a lot quicker it seemed…though maybe that’s just old age making me think it was quicker. (It was a while ago seeing she’s now 16).

But with our recent experience with Miss just turned 3, it seemed to take forever for it to click. Plus I was only working part-time, so a good deal of it was spent at home with her.

I’d read up on the 3 day training method. And other different theories with how to toilet train your child, but these are the things that really seemed to work for us.

We started talking about toilet training when she started taking an interest in recognising her nappy was wet and when others went to the toilet. It’s part of mum life to have a little person accompany you to the bathroom every time. Of course when I say ‘we’, it’s pretty much just me. The mum. Dad’s don’t seem to take an awful lot of interest in teaching little girls to go to the toilet. I’m not sure if it’s the same when a little boy is in the mix? (Let me know in the comments of your experience there of toilet training tips with the boys).

What equipment you will need depends on if you want to have a potty you can place anywhere in the house (quite a few in my mother’s group have placed in it the lounge room in front of the television the child is watching) or if want to just use the big toilet with an insert in for your toddler’s little bottom.

We started with an insert seat first. It’s padded with cute little ducks on it. And it came with a hook so you can hang it on the wall when not in use (something I never realised how handy it was till my mother got the same one for their place and put the hook on the wall).

But the adult toilet was a bit big for her. So we tried the little step stool I keep in my pantry. That let her get on the toilet, but she wasn’t happy with her legs swinging and not being able to put them down to feel secure.

So after a while of no real success, and multiple toileting accidents (lot of wet pants, wet lounge, wet puddles everywhere) I decided to go full force in her toilet training over the summer holidays. We stocked up on LOTS of size 2-3 undies. Peppa Pig, Emma Wiggles and Dorothy the Dinosaur, girly dinosaur ones, mermaid ones. Lots! I wanted to be able to send her to daycare while toilet training and not have to wash multiple times a week. We were probably averaging at least 3 wet pairs a day for daycare before she’d ask for a nappy to go on.

I got a toilet training book from the shops one day that she was fascinated with it. It was very cool, and tailored to girls. Plus it had a button you could push that made the toilet flushing noise and cheering at the end. I must say it was a favourite book for weeks.

We bought a potty. Made the mistake of letting my husband ASK her which one she wanted when she originally picked the cheapest one in store. No. We had to get the pink Minnie Mouse one that cheered when you pulled the handle on it.

She liked the Minnie Mouse potty for about a week, till she accidentally did a poo on it. And scared herself. Oh well! We went back to trying to encourage going using the insert seat.

Then I reread a few articles on the 3 day potty training again and any more toilet training tips I could find, and about how it might not actually work fully in 3 days, but it’s about still getting them to continue trying. And finding the right bribe currency for your toddler.

So we tried that. I stocked up on a few treats that she liked when at the grocery store with her. Smarties (chocolate beanie type sweet) worked at first. Kinder Surprise was always a good one but costly to do except as a big reward. Lollipops worked a couple of days. Oh and what she called Wiggly Worms (a new mini Curly Wurly bar thing that looks a bit like a chocolate worm squiggle..she loves them! Curly Wurly Squirlies are their name). She also spotted a Peppa Pig magazine that had about 6 toys and 3 colouring books/magazines in it. That worked for a bit too.

I had a gift voucher to use up at a book store, so stocked up on a couple of Polly Potty books- the story and the sticker book. When those arrived she quite enjoyed putting stickers in the chart at the end of the book, and in the story.

I also used some little sticker reward charts I had left over from teaching, that she got for doing a wee or poo in the toilet. 1 tiny sticker for a wee, 2 for a poo. And when it reached the end of chart (20 stickers) she could get a big reward like her Kinder Surprise. At first it took a long time to fill a chart, but when we combined getting the sticker on it, plus the chocolate and a big song and dance when she successfully used the toilet or potty, they started to fill in quicker.

Another big step was in actually getting a 2 step stool for her to climb more easily onto the toilet and have something to rest her feet on. I originally got that for her to reach the basin tap easier. But she discovered that it was great for in the toilet too, and moved it in there. Luckily we had just enough room it could tuck down the side next to the bowl after use and not take up too much room. And let the door close when not in use.

We got to the stage of her being quite successful for wees at home, but she was terrified of the toilet at daycare. (Doing poos on the toilet typically takes longer to achieve). No matter what we tried, she’d wear undies to daycare, but would refuse to sit on the toilet there even with her other little girl friends who were training too. Thankfully the staff were very understanding and knowledgable about the fickleness of toddlers and kept gently trying there.

She would also ask to put her nappy pants (pull ups) on if she wanted to do a poo, as it must be more comforting to them having only ever done it that way. One would go on, she’d go hide in a corner to do her business, and then was happy to get changed out of it and back to undies.

To try and help with the fear of daycare toilets we had our next toilet training tip of visiting every single rest room around and about town. We’d purposely go out to the shops somewhere and go visit the parent restroom where available. This let her see some little toilets in action, even if she didn’t want to sit on them the first few times. But they were exactly the same as at daycare, so helped her see that they were in lots of different places.

At this point we could go about just in undies during the day and she would let us know if she needed to go for a wee. (With a little packed bag in the car of wipes and spare clothes just in case). So being out and getting to visit an exciting parent room seemed to do the trick for it finally clicking. Plus getting to play in the little play area in the parent room after visiting the toilet made it so much more appealing. A few days of these trips and she was suddenly much more willing to have a go at daycare. First just sitting on the toilet there (and getting multiple stamps up her arms for this achievement) and then actually doing a wee there. We were all so proud that day!

Since then she has been accident free all day, and asks to go to the toilet for wees or poos if I’m around, or will sometimes take herself off if I’m super busy with some other task. Of course now I’m slave to hanging around till she has finished to help her wipe her little bottom. But that role will hopefully not be as long!

Our next step will be undies at bedtime. Unfortunately you can’t train for that as the body has to be ready for this. But that’s more for a post later in the year when we reach that stage. (Though daddy has accidentally put her to bed minus a nappy the one night he was in charge. And she came into our bed half the night. So thankful there wasn’t an accident there).

If you’ve ready for toilet training and liked these toilet training tips, download our free toilet training tips checklist (coming soon). Or check out these recommendations of items that may assist you.

And for more on our adventures in parenting, click here.

Cruising with toddlers -10 tips for amusing toddlers on a cruise

17/10/2018 By Savanna Robinson Leave a Comment

We just returned from our second cruise with our toddler daughter and thus this has been top in my mind. Cruises are great cost effective holidays but what is there available on a family cruise when cruising with toddlers to do and how do you keep them occupied for a week or longer? These are the 10 tips for cruising with toddlers that we discovered and used.

#1 Choose a family friendly cruise line.

Some are better than others at catering to the needs of your whole family. Our last 3 cruises have been with Carnival Australia Cruises on the Carnival Spirit from Sydney, and they are just brilliant for the littlest members of your family. Do your research first to check they have great options for your toddler.

#2 Utilise Kids Club.

Cruise lines that cater for children generally have a Kids club option included. Although your child can cruise international waters from 12 months old, the kids club will not take them until 2 years of age. We still found plenty to keep our daughter amused when we married on a cruise just before she was 14 months old. Check the details of what they allow with their Kids club (do they change nappies, provide meals/snacks, only open certain times at sea and at port?). Carnival Spirit was a good fit for us with a 2-year-old (approaching 3). We just provided nappies and wipes for any changes needed during her time there. We had an old-fashioned mobile to carry with us so we could be contacted if she needed us.

#3 Set dinner time in the dining room.

If you are able to get a set dinner time where you go to the same table each night for dinner it so much easier with toddlers. Even if you end up with the late seating as we did (which was a struggle when cruising with a toddler, but we made it work with late rising), a permanent seating is so much easier as the waiters get to know you and the kids by name. They miss their own families from being at sea for 8 months, so will do their best to help entertain or distract upset toddlers, or even take them on a walk around the dining room so parents and other family members can eat dinner without running around the whole time. On our first cruise with her, she got cheap plastic kids sunglasses to wear at meals from the Maitre d’. This time she was into colouring, so got about one menu/colouring book a day, plus two rubber ducks and flower lei. And lots of photo opportunities with staff who just adored her being around.

There are usually several different types of eating places on board. Buffet style, sit down restaurant, café, fancy high priced restaurant. And all had things that fussy toddlers will eat. And are willing to get different dishes if something is not liked. On one occasion when Miss 2 wasn’t in the mood for eating when her meal came out, they even got a fresh one brought out when she started to get hungry again.

#4 Stairs are your friend.

Believe me, there are SO many stairs on a cruise ship, and your toddler will love to go up and down them all multiple times. Even if the ship is being a bit rocky. Of course, this is much easier with toddlers that have been walking for a while. I personally tripled my usual step count every day on the cruise just by following her around. And you get the added benefit of burning off those 3-course meals too! There are lots of levels to explore and take a long walk if that’s what’s needed to burn off some excess energy.

#5 Shows

The productions shows that are for general viewing are enthralling for toddlers with the lights, music, and dancing. Our little darling even clued into the fact that shows happened after dinner, and where they happened, so would try to sneak out early from the restaurant and start heading that way seeing they were both on the same level.

#6 Shore tours

Little kids enjoy tours at ports of call just as much as adults. A lot of the bus tours through Carnival take under 3 for free if sitting on a parent’s lap. And baby carriers are so useful for walking around and exploring the surrounds as a family. (I may have even jerry-rigged a sarong as a wrap to carry a tired toddler when I left my carrier onboard for one port).

#7 Elegant night

Toddlers can get dressed up fancy too! It is something a little bit special that they probably don’t get to do too often. Be sure to pack a bib or similar that will cover their outfit for if they decide ‘that spaghetti bolognese is life’ like our toddler did. And they will be so cute you will want to take heaps of photos, which leads me to #8.

#8 Photo opportunities

Cruise ships ALWAYS have photographers snapping shots at different moments on board. From coming onboard, to dinners, to ports of call to elegant/formal nights. So many opportunities to buy some great formal shots or just take your own candid ones. Most toddlers love to see photos, even if they won’t cooperate for all snaps.

#9 Free movies screening

Toddlers really seem to love anything on the big screen! And you can easily whisk them away if they start to get bored, unlike your usual movie theatre. In-room channels usually offer movies on rotation too. ABDKIDS was even shown on Carnival Spirit when the satellite was cooperative and in range.

#10 Opportunity to meet other little travellers

If you are on a family friendly ship, you are very likely to meet other families with little ones too. Our toddler made friends with a couple of boys a bit older than her seated a couple of tables away at dinner. It was such a delight to see them play around in between dinner course and chat with others from their family. Our little extrovert was not at all shy about telling everyone about her day and showing off her latest outfit.

As you can see, although toddlers can prove challenging at times, you can still find plenty of things to keep them amused on a cruise. Please come back and let me know of any other cruising with toddlers activities to do on board!

Road trips with kids – toddler road trip essentials

Breastfeeding is hard. Breastfeeding is easy. The pros and cons of breastfeeding in modern society.

07/01/2018 By Savanna Robinson 5 Comments

The pros and cons of breastfeeding

It’s good to see breastfeeding being actively promoted these days as something you should try to do with your baby. For many years this biological functions was deemed as beneath humans to do and that feeding artificial milk, that though vastly improved on previous generations is still not the same as what our body naturally produces, was the best way to go. Which has led to a lack of understanding about how breastfeeding works and to a misguided view of some that a child nursing is an act not to be observed by the common man, woman or child (but yet scantily clad women are shown regularly in advertising and movies that exposes even more flesh than a child being nursed). And breastfeeding can is hard, but breastfeeding is easy as well. The pros and cons of breastfeeding are many, but in this post I will tackle just a few.

Breastfeeding is easy.

Breastfeeding is the easiest way to feed a baby. The mother’s body creates the exact right nutrients for the stage of development of the child, from colostrum for the first few days after birth, to milk for a newborn, an infant and a toddler (if you are lucky enough to get that far). It comes already prepared with no need for mixing, heating or finding a bottle the child will accept. Going out to the shops requires no other preparation than having a nursing bra and top with easy access. (I’ve found ready-made nursing tops are not essential, just one loose enough to lift is good. Skin tight clothes just leads to boob compression, which you really want to avoid).

To some women, breastfeeding comes really easily and they are able to keep going as long as their child wants. Or till they reach the milestone they were hoping for whether 3 months, 6 months, or 2 years. And they absolutely love it!

But to some other women breastfeeding is a journey fraught with pain, discomfort and body issues. They dread the thought of feeding a child in public. To these women breastfeeding is hard!!

Breastfeeding is hard

The Village

With our disjointed society in the 21st Century, we have lost our sense of ‘the village’ where your close relatives all live nearby and can help out with the baby and child rearing tasks. You’ve heard the expression “It takes a village to raise a child”? It is so true! Having your first child can be such an unknown in life – so many new things to learn as a parent and as a mum.

We no longer constantly see women around us breastfeeding their children. We don’t always have our mum, sisters and cousins, aunts and girlfriends around us to see this skill practised. There is no longer a whole village to consult on how to do this strange new skill.

The need for professional breastfeeding help

And although breastfeeding is a natural act, it can take time to learn how to do it – for both mother and baby. With my first daughter it was over two weeks till I felt comfortable enough to know I could continue with breastfeeding. Even with my second I was ready to throw in the towel at 6 weeks with some issues, except I know that I could do this as I had before.

Because of the lack of a Village to ask about issues with breastfeeding in our modern society and our modern focus of needing to have our babies in hospitals, we have a lack of firsthand information on these vital skills. Luckily some people have seen this need for more education and we now have Internationally certified Lactation consultants based in at least all major hospitals or offering private services to families.

Issues that make breastfeeding hard.

There are a number of issues that can occur with breastfeeding that can make it especially hard to continue. Tongue ties and lip ties is a very common one heard about lately. It can cause a lot of latching and discomfort issues and undiagnosed case can cause so much pain or feeding problems, like loss of weight, that many mothers stop before they can find the real cause.

Blocked ducts are often painful and hard to predict. I had none with baby #1. Quite a few with the second! If left untreated they can also lead to mastitis- an even more painful and serious condition needing antibiotic treatment.

Thrush is another common culprit. Untreated it can be passed back and forth from mother to child.

Another highly under-reported condition with breastfeeding is called vasospasm. With two causes for the blood vessels tightening and going into spasm; trauma to the nipple or a condition related to Reynaud’s phenomenon. It causes painful cramping in the nipple and breast tissue, often accompanied by a whitening of the nipples and then colour change from red to blue/purple.

This was one I discovered with my second child, and only became aware of it being a thing after posts from other mum’s in my online mother’s group. It made feeding so painful on one side that even though I’d experienced a reasonably pleasant breastfeeding journey with my first daughter, that I felt like giving up when number 2 was only 6 weeks old.

Thankfully I found out about vasospasm, and with some advice from a lactation consultant I increased my magnesium which saw relief come quickly. I’m so grateful for finding that solution as I successfully breastfed her to 22 months…a massive achievement!

The pros and cons of breastfeeding can make or break your breastfeeding journey

There’s a lot to learn with breastfeeding. How do I get a correct latch? How do I know when a newborn is finished feeding. How can you judge if they’re getting enough milk. What to do if away from baby for an extended period. What medications you can take when feeding. All of these issues can make it seem too hard, too painful or too much work without the right support for many women to continue their journey. And past experiences with bad advice from some professionals that should know better can make women not want to even give it a go on their next baby.

For further support with your breastfeeding journey visit Australian Breastfeeding Association.

I’m hoping that as we become more educated as a society on what is hard and easy about breastfeeding, that more women are able to have a successful and enjoyable breastfeeding journey for as long as they and the child are wanting. And for those finding they have one of these hard issues I’ve mentioned (or any others) that they can get the right support to help them, instead of just feeling like they have no other choice but to give up.

Comment below on how your breastfeeding journey has been.

References

Australian Breastfeeding Association (2017, August) ‘Vasospasm’. https://www.breastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/vasospasm

How to stop breastfeeding a toddler (who doesn’t want to give up)

Being a mother is tough – working out this parenting gig (again)

06/08/2017 By Savanna Robinson 8 Comments

Being a mother is tough some days! Real tough! You just want to give it up, throw in the towel and go do something less stressful. Memories of days where you could eat a hot meal in peace are just that- a distant memory. And I’m not saying parenting can’t be tough for the guys too. But a lot of it is still dealt with by mothers. Although Stay at Home dads have increased in numbers in recent years, they still are a minority. Mums are known for having to think 6 billion thoughts about the needs of others, before themselves. Breastfeeding- nope, my husband can’t do that and the determined toddler has refused a bottle since she was 6 months old. Settling- when at her worst hysterical moments, only mummy can calm her down. Organising meals- yep, you guessed it. Mummy again. Sorting out the next season’s clothes. Wondering which school they will go, if they’ll make friends easily, and how you’re going to afford it. The whole world of motherhood is hard.

Being a mother of a toddler

My latest moment of finding being a mother hard was this morning. I sat down to breakfast, after dealing with the rigmarole in getting a 3 course toddler breakfast (well toast, cereal and fruit counts, right) and this happened. Eleanor lost control of her cereal bowl and it spilled cereal and milk over the corner of the table, my legs, my slippers and the floor. My little one sat there in her highchair going ‘Oh! Oh!’, whilst milk dripped further down my leg.

I sat there in shock to start with, and then tried to figure out how I could mop up this mess without making it worse. Of course there was not a wipe in reach (a rare event when you have a toddler in the house). And not even the packet of serviettes was in range! And no one else is at home! I can scarcely ask the little one to pop over to the sink and grab some paper towels. She’s safely strapped inside her high chair. And it’s a slim chance she could follow that instruction just yet.

So of course my toast was very cold when I finally got everything cleaned up. Eleanor wanted to have some of that too, even though she had the same thing, Vegemite toast, right in front of her… apparently mine is better. Why do they need to eat everything that mummy has? Although I guess it might help with my weight loss plan that she demands every snack I have. In reality it’s probably just an easy way to see something isn’t poisonous. Mummy is eating that one, so it’s okay. Heavens knows what this stuff in front of me could have in it!

Then we get to dressing for the day. The toddler is dressed by mummy. Thankfully she’s not yet at the age where they insist on dressing in the most weather inappropriate clothes. I realise halfway through getting myself dressed that I have completely forgotten how to dress as a normal non-breastfeeding person. Which is rather strange as she only feeds mornings and evenings now. But my mind still insists on dressing in accessible clothing as it’s just been so long since I dressed any other way. If I had to return to teaching work right now, I don’t know how I’d cope! Or be able to be dressed before 9am for that matter.

At least today we have avoided the excessive toddler grumpiness, over-tiredness and refusals to go to sleep. I’m sure that last night as I tried to get her to sleep for the umpteenth time that I was practically banging my head against the cot rails questioning why I ever thought having another was a good idea. I love her more than words can express, but sleep deprivation is torturous…especially when the person keeping you up can’t express why they won’t go to sleep. Is it teeth hurting, nightmares, the cold winter night or just wanting to snuggle with mummy?

And so ends my day. With those numerous thoughts still running through my mind, and finally a few moments peace to myself as both girls are in bed. I’m sure I should be in bed myself, but that’s not going to happen! Too many things I want to do that can’t be done whilst in mum mode. And even though I’m exhausted and frustrated with those little things when they happen, I just have to look at my girls to know that I’ll gladly do it all again for them tomorrow and the next day. Yes, being a mother is hard! But the rewards of spontaneous hugs, wet kisses and baby snores are pretty damn good too!

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