children

Why it’s okay to have bored kids.

24/08/2019 By Savanna Robinson Leave a Comment

But I’m bored! Is that a phrase you have heard all too often these days? It seems we’ve become a society that cannot deal with bored kids. And we feel like we have to immediately placate them and fix the boredom with more and more activities. Usually with some sort of technological device in the mix.

Why it's okay to have bored kids- child looking out window covered in raindrops looking sad — Allow a little boredom to happen in their lives. It will be good for them.

Let me say one thing now. Stop it! Right now! You do not have to fix your kid’s boredom. This is not a problem! It is an opportunity!

Our human minds are not designed to be stimulated every moment of the day. They need time away from screens and the constant stimulation in our technologically crowded lives. We need to make sure our children have this down time from these things too.

Boredom sparks creativity

Letting there be bored kids in your life is going to help their creativity; now and later in life. If everything is handed to them, children don’t work out how to tackle challenges that crop up in life. And if they can’t handle the small things now or what to do in the backyard with limited resources, then how can we expect them to deal well with problems as adults.

Creative play is something we want to encourage in our children at an early age. It helps expand their minds and practice lots of skills they need, including using language in different forms. But they often don’t want to use their minds to invent new scenarios to play out if they’re just being fed a constant stream of YouTube videos. They sometimes need to have a bit of boredom as the stimulus to go and use those brains instead.

How to create an environment that supports bored kids?

Firstly, take the technology away. I won’t say it doesn’t have its uses at times, but for boredom to happen, and more creative experiences to occur, you are going to need to take it away from your child for a little bit. And yes, this may mean a few tantrums will happen.

Some of the best things to use to help support your bored kids expand their creative and thinking skills are objects with multiple uses. Children unused to doing some thinking for themselves are not going to cope well if you take the iPad off them and hand them something that has only one possible use (in their minds at least).

Instead try objects that can be a multitude of things. The old classic is the cardboard box. It can be a cubby, a bus, a rocketship or a shop. Other examples could be some paper and craft supplies that they have free reign over, or wooden blocks. Or a simple stick that can be a digging tool, a pen, a magic wand, and a paintbrush.

Once your child has gotten the hang of being able to creatively play with multiple use items, they will start to see the possibility in other items. My three year old is getting quite good at this now, and can make a phone from anything lying around the house and will have conversations with dolls about the right way to behave (based on what is expected at daycare). And given a set of dinosaur will happily retell The Three Billy Goats Gruff story. Other things like Busy Book activities by Heart Moments might also be used in multiple ways.

Hopefully you can now see the value in allowing yourself to see kids being bored as not a problem, but the opportunity to develop more creativity in their lives.

If you liked this post, you may enjoy more of my articles on parenting. Comment below what things your bored kids have enjoyed.

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When toilet training is finished – the stages of post toilet training

28/07/2019 By Savanna Robinson Leave a Comment

So you’ve just spent the last six months toilet training your child. And they can now use the toilet fairly regularly during the day with few, if any, accidents. But does this mean toilet training is finished? Not really, it seems. You still need to go though a few phases with your child before it is truly over. Here are a few of the next steps when toilet training is finished.

Stages of post toilet training - when toilet training is finished

The climbing on the toilet to flush

Exactly as it sounds. Your child is so interested in this new skill of toileting that they insist on closing the lid and climbing up to the flush the toilet, even though they still haven’t the strength to push the button down yet. Don’t worry! You can strategically assist them in the push, and then stand out of the way for them to hop down. A small stool can help in the dismount too.

Come with me

This stage is where your child will come over and whisper to you to come with them to the toilet. If you have company around they may even just use hand gestures and expect you to come follow. They cannot be convinced to start their journey to the toilet without you directly by their side.

Don’t come with me

Your child tells you they need to go the toilet, immediately followed by screaming at you to not follow them (even though the last trip required your immediate company).

Singing in the toilet and kicking the door side to side

This stage has your child singing songs they know, or have just made up, whilst doing their business. While you are required to stand outside and wait for both performances to finish. If the door is close enough, they start kicking this from one foot to the next, or unrolling the toilet paper roll.

Brings pants to you to put back on

Your child may have mastered making it to the toilet on time, but is not yet able to master the finer points of wearing underpants. You are required to help put these back on, plus any other items they needed to take off….like jackets or pants or shoes. (Don’t ask me why a jacket needs to come off. It just does, apparently!)

I can go by myself- followed by request for toilet paper wiping

Yes, your child is trying to be independent in this stage. Until the crucial moment of needing their bottom wiped. Then you are back on the needed list!

Toddler teaching dollies to go to toilet

Of course once you’ve mastered going to the toilet, then all your toys start talking about when they need to go to. You may need to reinforce that toys can only use the potty not the proper toilet if you don’t want any accidental toy drownings.

The distracted days

This is the “I’m holding onto myself, but really don’t want to miss my show unless you physically pick me up and force me to go” stage. I find if you pick them up and plonk them on the toilet is the only sure fire way to get them to go. Otherwise there will be an accident somewhere on the way.

The obsession with farts

Your child may already have know about passing wind and found it amusing, but it is so much funnier when emphasised by the acoustics of the smallest room of the house. when toilet training is finished

Obsession with body parts in toileting

You may find your child obsessed with which parts of the body they use for going to the toilet. It’s important to teach them the correct names of parts, but they will start wanting to use those words in every day conversation.

Hand washing refusal

It is tricky enough getting that going to the toilet sorted. Your child now starts to refuse to wash hands as that’s another huge task! I found using a wipe or the face washer was an easy solution when she was adamant that hand washing was not going to happen too.

Flush it for me as I’m still pulling up my pants.

Now your child likes to pull their pants up (so they don’t get a wedgie) and then go wash hands with the water at the right speed, so flushing becomes a job delegated to you again. when toilet training is finished

The can’t quite wipe bottom yet stage

Oh a fun stage! When your child wants to wipe, but can’t quite manage it themself yet and thus ends up with dirty undies. That if they’re picky like my girl, will insist on changing straight away when they notice it on the next toilet trip. And possibly an itchy bottom. Nappy cream to the rescue!

The public restrooms humiliation

The bane of every parent’s life, I think. Your child will loudly tell everyone within hearing distance what they think you are doing in the public restrooms and questions what certain things might be.

Desperate after bedtime routine trip

This is when your child who still wears nappies (or pull ups) to bed is adamant that they must go to the toilet right this very second. Sometimes it’s a delaying tactic. Other times it’s clear they they are just becoming more attuned to the need to go, and really don’t want it in their fresh new night time pants. when toilet training is finished

Doesn’t need you anymore

Suddenly your child who needed you for every single trip to the bathroom will wake up and just take themselves off to do their business. You will be shocked, but also slightly relieved. Just take note that they might slip back into any other stage though.

Out of bedtime nappies

This is typically the last stage of your toileting journey, and truly when toilet training is finished. Your child has gone several weeks with no wet nappies and is able to go just before bed and upon rising in the morning, and you are willing to let them try sleeping in undies. Of course I used our Slumber Dry mat on her bed, just in case of occasional accidents, but it’s been pretty good so far (which is great for when she pops into our bed).

How is your post toilet training journey going? Comment below with the stages you had. when toilet training is finished

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Age gap worry- how long to wait between kids?

18/07/2017 By Savanna Robinson 3 Comments

age gap worry v2 feature couple walking holding hands

So many parents seem to have ‘Age gap worry’. They want to know when is the perfect time to have the next child for their lives to go smoothly. Well people! I’m afraid I have to tell you that there is no real magic number that will work for every couple.

Age gap worry- what is the perfect gap?

Some people like to have their kids super close together…which basically means falling pregnant very soon after having the first child. The idea in mind here is that all the little baby stuff will be over sooner if they’re closer in age. And that they will have someone to play with as they grow up. Being so close in age though can mean they go through all the stages of growing up together, toddlerhood, tweens, and teens with a partner in crime. Also, not all siblings get along and play nicely together, so your plan of peaceful interaction together can quickly change to refereeing a boxing match every hour.

Other people like to have their kids further apart. One child starts school and they have the next. This can be to try and avoid sibling rivalry. And being older does not always guarantee avoiding the jealousy curse. I’ve known ten year olds who were completely jealous of a new arrival to the family group and that act worse than some 3 year olds.

Of course all the perfect planning in the world doesn’t guarantee a thing when it comes to kids. Wishing to have an age gap of 2 years between each is all fine and well till it comes to the falling pregnant. There could be issues with fertility and being able to fall pregnant at the right time. Some ladies seem to fall pregnant so easily at that time in their cycle that the slightest look can see them with the next bub a year ahead of schedule. Issues with staying pregnant are also common. I’ve had a dear friend recently who went through a few miscarriages before her current pregnancy. The human body just doesn’t care about these self-imposed deadlines we set up in our minds about our families.

The best laid plans

And lastly, sometimes life and its journey gets in the way of the perfect age gap. When my eldest was 3, I wanted to start trying for a sibling for her. Along came an MS diagnosis, followed by separation and divorce. I didn’t think that the opportunity to even have more children would ever come along my way given my age and medical issues. But it did! I met a new guy, and we eventually decided to try. This resulted in our beautiful toddler, when my eldest was 13. Everyone is shocked at the gap, those who don’t know us that is, but it has been lovely. A caring big sister who just adores her little sister (most of the time) and helps out so much with her.

age gap worry teenage girl holding her newborn baby sister

So don’t be afraid of the ‘Age gap worry’ when it does the rounds in your social circles. You can worry all you like, plan all you like. What is perfect for someone, will not necessarily be for you. Those little personalities do not always match up to an ‘ideal age gap’. Just enjoy those kids, whatever time they come.

What age gap have you got between kids? What do you think is the perfect gap? Comment below.

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