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Breastfeeding is hard. Breastfeeding is easy. The pros and cons of breastfeeding in modern society.

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The pros and cons of breastfeeding in modern society. breastfeeding mother and baby

The pros and cons of breastfeeding

It’s good to see breastfeeding being actively promoted these days as something you should try to do with your baby. For many years this biological functions was deemed as beneath humans to do  and that feeding artificial milk, that though vastly improved on previous generations is still not the same as what our body naturally produces, was the best way to go. Which has led to a lack of understanding about how breastfeeding works and to a misguided view of some that a child nursing is an act not to be observed by the common man, woman or child (but yet scantily clad women are shown regularly in advertising and movies that exposes even more flesh than a child being nursed). And breastfeeding can is hard, but breastfeeding is easy as well. The pros and cons of breastfeeding are many, but in this post I will tackle just a few.

Breastfeeding is easy.

Breastfeeding is the easiest way to feed a baby. The mother’s body creates the exact right nutrients for the stage of development of the child, from colostrum for the first few days after birth, to milk for a newborn, an infant and a toddler (if you are lucky enough to get that far). It comes already prepared with no need for mixing, heating or finding a bottle the child will accept. Going out to the shops requires no other preparation than having a nursing bra and top with easy access. (I’ve found ready-made nursing tops are not essential, just one loose enough to lift is good. Skin tight clothes just leads to boob compression, which you really want to avoid).

To some women, breastfeeding comes really easily and they are able to keep going as long as their child wants. Or till they reach the milestone they were hoping for whether 3 months, 6 months, or 2 years. And they absolutely love it!

But to some other women breastfeeding is a journey fraught with pain, discomfort and body issues. They dread the thought of feeding a child in public. To these women breastfeeding is hard!!

exhausted mother nursing newborn baby

Breastfeeding is hard

The Village

With our disjointed society in the 21st Century, we have lost our sense of ‘the village’ where your close relatives all live nearby and can help out with the baby and child rearing tasks. You’ve heard the expression “It takes a village to raise a child”? It is so true! Having your first child can be such an unknown in life – so many new things to learn as a parent and as a mum.

We no longer constantly see women around us breastfeeding their children. We don’t always have our mum, sisters and cousins, aunts and girlfriends around us to see this skill practised. There is no longer a whole village to consult on how to do this strange new skill.

The need for professional breastfeeding help

And although breastfeeding is a natural act, it can take time to learn how to do it – for both mother and baby. With my first daughter it was over two weeks till I felt comfortable enough to know I could continue with breastfeeding. Even with my second I was ready to throw in the towel at 6 weeks with some issues, except I know that I could do this as I had before.

Because of the lack of a Village to ask about issues with breastfeeding in our modern society and our modern focus of needing to have our babies in hospitals, we have a lack of firsthand information on these vital skills. Luckily some people have seen this need for more education and we now have Internationally certified Lactation consultants based in at least all major hospitals or offering private services to families.

Issues that make breastfeeding hard.

There are a number of issues that can occur with breastfeeding that can make it especially hard to continue. Tongue ties and lip ties is a very common one heard about lately. It can cause a lot of latching and discomfort issues and undiagnosed case can cause so much pain or feeding problems, like loss of weight, that many mothers stop before they can find the real cause.

Blocked ducts are often painful and hard to predict. I had none with baby #1. Quite a few with the second! If left untreated they can also lead to mastitis- an even more painful and serious condition needing antibiotic treatment.

Thrush is another common culprit. Untreated it can be passed back and forth from mother to child.

Another highly under-reported condition with breastfeeding is called vasospasm. With two causes for the blood vessels tightening and going into spasm; trauma to the nipple or a condition related to Reynaud’s phenomenon. It causes painful cramping in the nipple and breast tissue, often accompanied by a whitening of the nipples and then colour change from red to blue/purple.

This was one I discovered with my second child, and only became aware of it being a thing after posts from other mum’s in my online mother’s group. It made feeding so painful on one side that even though I’d experienced a reasonably pleasant breastfeeding journey with my first daughter, that I felt like giving up when number 2 was only 6 weeks old.

Thankfully I found out about vasospasm, and with some advice from a lactation consultant I increased my magnesium which saw relief come quickly. I’m so grateful for finding that solution as  I successfully breastfed her to 22 months…a massive achievement!

The pros and cons of breastfeeding can make or break your breastfeeding journey

There’s a lot to learn with breastfeeding. How do I get a correct latch? How do I know when a newborn is finished feeding. How can you judge if they’re getting enough milk. What to do if away from baby for an extended period. What medications you can take when feeding. All of these issues can make it seem too hard, too painful or too much work without the right support for many women to continue their journey. And past experiences with bad advice from some professionals that should know better can make women not want to even give it a go on their next baby.

For further support with your breastfeeding journey visit Australian Breastfeeding Association.

I’m hoping that as we become more educated as a society on what is hard and easy about breastfeeding, that more women are able to have a successful and enjoyable breastfeeding journey for as long as they and the child are wanting. And for those finding they have one of these hard issues I’ve mentioned (or any others) that they can get the right support to help them, instead of just feeling like they have no other choice but to give up.

Comment below on how your breastfeeding journey has been.

References

Australian Breastfeeding Association (2017, August) ‘Vasospasm’. https://wwwbreastfeeding.asn.au/bfinfo/vasospasm

How to stop breastfeeding a toddler (who doesn’t want to give up)

Getting ready for a happy new year- time to be consistent!

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Getting ready for a happy new year 2018- time to be consistent!It is nearing the end of 2017 and time to start thinking of what the next year will bring! A lot of people like to set themselves a new year’s resolution. The new year’s goal they wish to work on for the next year, and hopefully improve something in their life by being consistent with that. But what is a good new year’s resolution? What should you work on or hope to improve on? What should your new year’s resolution 2018 be?

What should your new year’s resolution be?
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I’ve known a lot of people to set a new year’s resolution that is standard to so many others out there. “I will lose weight. I will eat healthier. I will exercise more. I will quit smoking/drinking. I will get out debt. I will travel more”. They start January off very inspired and determined to keep going for the entire year. But a lot of these goals are often spur of the moment wants, and they don’t have the mindset behind them to keep going when it gets tough. And yes, generally people can get lazy about these new goals that will make their life so much better (or so it seems in their minds).

My new year’s resolution

This year I’ve followed the teachings in the Socialite Suite and had a guiding word to follow for the year instead of a goal that I might give up in a few weeks because it was too hard. For 2017 my focus word was ‘brave’. I wanted to feel brave seeing I took a second year of maternity leave from teaching to spend more time with my toddler and teen. I wanted to be brave and continue with my direct sales business and see where I could get with it (and I needed to be brave to do some tasks to help with that). I wanted to be brave and try something new, like learning how to start my own blog. And I think I’ve bravely faced all those challenges and more this year!

Be Brave!
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You then need to surround yourself with I reminders about your focus word. It could be photos, memes or images you’ve made. Maybe the word written on every page of your yearly planner/diary. But the more you remind yourself of it, the more consistent you will be in keeping with it, and following through on task that achieve it.

As having a focus word for my New Year’s resolution 2017 worked so well, I’ve decided to do it again for 2018. And it’s been a bit of a struggle to find the perfect word too! I want it to cover all the things I’d love to achieve in this coming year. Yes, like many women I want to lose some weight and be more active as that’s better for my Multiple Sclerosis. I also want to declutter my house (and life) which is so overflowing with things since my husband moved in a few years back and I brought my school stuff home when starting maternity leave. I want to regularly do work on my blog, as the last month or two have been crazy busy! And I want to show my teenage daughter how to not become overwhelmed with her senior high school studies.

2018 here we come!

My focus word for 2018 is Consistency
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The focus word I have settled on for 2018 is ‘consistency’. To be consistent with scheduling things for school, Jamberry and home into my planner (which I just picked up the other day from a friend’s place…I’m excited!). To establish routines to consistently do tasks around home and have everyone in the house contribute in these tasks. To follow up with customers in my Jamberry business in a timely manner and keep my Facebook pages and group running smoothly.

So I look forward to 2018, the year of consistency. Comment below with what your focus word will be for the new year! Let’s celebrate together what will focus on! And if you find this post a few months in, or at the end of the year, know it’s never too late to set your focus for the remainder of the year!

Road trips with kids – toddler road trip essentials

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road trip with kids - toddler road trip essentialsWe recently took a car trip to Canberra from Sydney with our toddler to see Floriade. As we journeyed, these are the thoughts and ideas that came to me about surviving a long car trip with a toddler and other kids. (And yes, some of this did happen to us! ) So here are my musings on road trips with kids and toddler road trip essentials to make your trip more enjoyable.

Musings on road trips with kids.

Be well rested beforehand! A long drive and a cranky toddler is not something to handle on little sleep. Same goes for older kids who like to ask hundreds of questions.

Don’t let your toddler take off with one of their drink bottles before you leave the house. It will get left behind! Thank goodness you packed another!

Similarly for the older children, check that they have all things they require for the trip packed, as heading back home after an hour’s driving is not a nice option.

Train your children to like music you don’t mind listening to. Otherwise you’ll be stuck listening to the same album of children’s songs for hours on end! Or with older children give them a listening device and earphones.

Don’t put on moisturiser before feeding them at least 2 snacks. It is nearly impossible to open a packet of biscuits with your hands all smooth!

When you stop at McDonalds (as let’s face it, it’s one of the only regular stops on Australian Highways where you can get food fast enough to appease the ravenous toddler who just finished biscuits, a cheese Stringer and a banana), DON’T let the toddler catch sight of the children’s playground if you don’t have time for a play session. There will be major tantrums!!

Be prepared for the toddler to practise a variety of vocalisations in an attempt to amuse themselves.

If you stop and wake toddler for a break stop, it is doubtful they will sleep for the rest of the day. Choose carefully!

For the older kids pack some games they can play in the car without needing your help (particularly if you will be the only adult in the car). Lists of things they need to find can be good for those who are able to read. Electronic devices such as tablets or music players are very handy for game apps or movies to watch, providing they are charged before leaving. (Remember to pack all chargers for them too!)

Toddler road trip essentials

  • Pack a snack bag with things that are easily managed by your toddler, and that won’t be too messy. Some things you could include: biscuits, cheese Stringers, yoghurt pouches, fruit, muesli bars, water bottle.
  • Take a small basket of toys for the car trip and the time away. Nothing with little tiny pieces that can easily get lost. Of course, this basket will be upended to be used as a drum 30 minutes into the trip.
  • Have a back seat mirror on the back headrest for your rear facing child. You can see them, and they can see you. Saves on the screaming! (well …sometimes it does. Let’s face it, sometimes these toddlers just want to experiment with screaming).
  • A change of clothes in the nappy bag for drink bottle spills or nappy explosions is a great idea!
  • A sleeping bag, blanket and comfort toy for bedtime can give familiarity to a strange location. Order a cot/crib for your toddler too if available.
  • Take toddler-sized sunglasses as they will grizzle if the sun is in their eyes too long!

Hopefully following some of these tips, your next road trip with kids will be enjoyable. What essential thing do you think is required on a car trip with kids? Comment below.

Being a mother is tough – working out this parenting gig (again)

How to stop breastfeeding a toddler (who doesn’t want to give up)

How to stop breastfeeding a toddler (who doesn’t want to give up)

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how to stop breastfeeding a toddlerLearning about how to stop breastfeeding a toddler is a tricky task! There isn’t a lot of information on stopping at this age! Even going to the Early Childhood clinic nurses they didn’t have much helpful advice to share. It’s all advice about continuing to breastfeed a baby. So here’s my thoughts on the whole process.

Not in a million years did I ever think I’d still breastfeeding a toddler of nearly 20 months! It hasn’t been uneventful either with grazes, vagospasm and blocked ducts, and a few times I’ve wanted to just give up on it all. But I’m quite proud of this achievement we’ve reached together.

Breastfeeding with toddlers is trickier

Toddlers are NOT like babies when breastfeeding. They’re wriggly! They have some teeth (which they seem to forget every time a new one pops up)! And are super distractable! It is not a task for the faint of heart to breastfeed a toddler! They can feed from any position- sideways, upside down, downward dog- you name it, a toddler can probably breastfeed that way. For the last 9 months I’ve had to feed her in a quiet room most of the times or she just stops and starts for hours.

With my first daughter I decided at 14 months that I wanted to wear pretty bras again, instead of nursing ones, and by 15 months she was weaned. But she was also only on 3 feeds a day from the age of 9 months when I went back to work full time. And it was fairly easy to do.

My newest addition is more stubborn. She really loves the comfort of breastfeeding. At 11 months old I managed to get her down to three feeds a day, and separated them from sleep times, thanks to a 4 night stay at sleep school. And a week later was teething again, and that all went to pieces- the sleep and the feeding!

We have lasted through a relapse of my multiple sclerosis, requiring me to have high dose IV steroids and a hospital stay. Luckily the hospital supported my breastfeeding rights, and arranged for her to room in with me. When I met up with my new neurologist and MS nurse it was recommended I should go back onto medications to help with the MS, which then meant weaning her.

how to stop breastfeeding a toddler

All the advice I could find was to either completely stop cold turkey (which I didn’t like with my tendency to get blocked ducts and the risk of mastitis) or to just let her wean when ready, or to not refuse if they ask but not ask if they wanted it. What I’ve ended up doing is just trying to drop one feed a day for a week or two and then trying another. It’s not a perfect method, but is better than being in pain with engorged breasts.

I’ve had mixed feelings about this. Yes, it would be nice for her to be finally weaned! But on the other hand, I also miss that closeness you get nursing a little one who so enjoys a breastfeed.

How we’ve gone so far

Anyway, my little miss had other ideas. She is highly resistant to weaning. It took me months to get her back to 3 feeds a day, then to two. Now 6 months later, she’s down to one feed a day in the morning. Of course when sick, or upset, she tries her best to get another one.  Toddlers know where the boobs are hidden and try their darnedest to get at them! (And are VERY determined!)

And as the end of this breastfeeding journey nears, I get more and more sad feelings about it. Yes I know it is best for my health to go back on disease modifying medication, but I will miss it! She is my last one and this won’t be experienced again. I will miss being a breastfeeding mum.

But we have had the best possible start to her life! It has helped with any illnesses she’s caught in 19 months, including a doozy of a flu virus we had locally a couple of months back. It’s also been found to be best for MS to breastfeed at least 12 months and more if possible. And should reduce my risk of breast cancer in life. I think those are all great things to have achieved with my two girls!

In the meanwhile I’ll continue trying to wean my girl, so other things can start.

How have you found weaning from breastfeeding? Easy or hard? Comment below.

Come read more about my parenting journey here.

Being a mother is tough – working out this parenting gig (again)

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Reading with infants- tips to make reading with toddlers easier

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Reading with infants- tips to make reading with toddlers easier

Reading with infants

We’ve all heard how important it is to read with our little ones! For a lot of parents you want to instill the love of reading and this life-long skill your child will need far into their future. But you will soon learn that isn’t always the easiest task to achieve with babies and toddlers. So here’s my tips to help with this new challenge in your parenting life.

Keep the paper books for later

When your baby is new, they do lots of exploring and investigating with things in their mouth. So keep those precious paper books for later on in their childhood! Books made from fabrics, plastic or board books are best for first books.

reading with infants books
Nibbled corners, ripped 3D pieces. No wonder we now have chewable books!

Fabric books can have different textures and sounds when touched. We have one with a crinkly noise page that was a hit! Plastic books are great for having fun during water play or in the bathtub, but are also pretty immune to any dribble from your youngster. And board books are tough cardboard pages that are designed to last longer than ordinary paper with a baby. It may get a little worn around the edges, but the majority of the book will remain intact past the toddler stage!

When they sit still

At first if you are reading to your child, they will listen wide eyed to the story as you read and watch the pictures as you turn the pages. Try to use lots of expression to make it interesting and keep their attention (which won’t be for very long- 5 minutes can be enough!)

Independence leads to new skills

As your child gets older and learns how to do more things like holding and playing with toys, they will start to want to do some of the tasks in reading by themselves. They may wish to pick the book, to hold the book, turn the pages, or start at a certain point. Don’t worry too much about the storyline at this stage or the proper way to read a book- your child is just exploring and trying to copy and do what you have done with the book so far, but by themselves this time. Let them explore! It’s not going to hurt, and it does help maintain their love for books and reading later on.

Pace of reading

Look to your child for the pace you read your chosen book. Some days they might want to quickly flick through all the pages, so do a brief read of the pages.  And other days they want to stare at the pictures on each page for several minutes. You can describe and talk about what is there, but sometimes they just like to quietly take in all that is on the page. There may even be days they want to do the book backwards. As your child grows older, they will get to the stage of wanting to listen the entire story in order. But it can take time! Be patient!

Hazards to books with children

Infants do tend to go through a stage of putting EVERYTHING in their mouth for a little while at least. And when teething, they find things to help relieve that pain. Corners of board books seem to be a favoured teething toy, especially in our house. Very few board books survived without at least one corned nibbled on!

Toddlers do like to walk around with their favourite items, including books. Watch out for access to the bathroom or toilet when they can walk, or you may find soggy books around the house.

Another danger factor is food! Smooshed up, half eaten food that somehow ends up on the books. Try to avoid mixing reading and eating. It never ends well!

Once they discover what books actually are, your child will notice them in other places around the house. If you want to keep any paper books safe, they will need to be placed out of reach (even from climbing..bookcases can be inviting climbing towers to the adventurous toddler!)

Enjoy this timereading with infants babyshots

Finally enjoy the beginning of your child’s love affair with books and reading. Don’t be stressed if it’s a super quick session, or the opposite, they’re taking forever with pages. It all helps develop a fascination with the medium of reading! And they won’t be little forever. They do grow up and then no longer want a story read by you. Keep it interesting though, and that won’t be for many, many years!

Interested in more of my parenting adventures? Click here.

Age gap worry- how long to wait between kids?

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